Can't figure out life in peace as a single woman

I'm in my early thirties and as the title says, single. I feel fine being single, I've always had the "if it happens, it happens" mentality with marriage. I never really "dreamed" of being married, having kids, I just want a life where I have the opportunity to try new things, learn new things and be surrounded by cool, understanding and empathetic people and if marriage comes in the picture, it would be because I found somebody who I feel excited and "myself" to be around, who makes life easier. If not, then I want to maximize my single life as much as possible.

The thing is, I still am figuring things out in life and those are coming with a lot of challenges which I feel I can't openly admit because people seem to think it's tied to being single and make me feel like I'm unlucky as a result of my singularity. The big one right now is figuring out where to live-I have been living in a VHCOL city for the past 5 years first due to work and now just living here even though my job is flexible b/c it's the only place I feel I can find some sense of community in or always have opportunity to meet new people or make friends. I've moved around constantly since I was young (due to family/financial issues, not the military), so by that virtue, I don't have a "hometown".

My family is split between two suburban areas in the US and everytime I go visit, while it's nice to have fam around, I get bored to literal tears with no sense of a social life or novelty in the surrounding area. I always get asked "why don't you live here" or "why do you live so far away" by people who live in the areas where my family lives and they seem to not get it. Even friends my age asked me "so when are you moving back home?" because "moving back home" is on the cards for them, without considering I never grew up in one place that feels like "home" the way it is for them.

I had been living with roommates for most of these past few years, but last year was the first time I started to think about potentially buying apartment, condo or something along those lines. Right as I was getting into the process, my apartment roof collapsed and I had to move out. I almost bought an apartment recently but the seller backed out for some unknown reason. I have since moved back with family but have been staying in sublet apartments for few months at a time so that I can spend time in the city to continue to look for a permanent living situation and maintain my social life here.

But subletting has been particularly hard. I have to keep moving things in and out, everything feels temporary and I have to deal with inconveniences of living in an apartment that isn't mine. I just moved into an apartment recently and the people I'm subletting from kept it pretty gross and the whole "what am I doing with my life" feelings have been surfacing.

I feel like I can't say it out loud because people see people my age getting married, buying homes and all of that and I'm single currently living in what feels like a storage closet with a mouse scurrying around the premises. My dad's sister just a few days ago called my mom and said she thinks I'm "depressed" (I'm stressed from moving/my job) and that I'm probably lonely and should be considering marriage. I feel irritated with people acting like marriage is something I can just go do tomorrow if I really felt like it and that it would automatically lead me to some fairytale type life. I've tried my part in dating, but I end up having extremely dull conversations with guys who seem to not know why they even matched me in the first place that causes even more irritability and frustration. And as it is, I have so many married friends who look happy on the gram but have called me upset sharing how they feel trapped/unhappy in their marriage or lonely in the suburbs where they moved for their husbands b/c they have no friends there. I personally feel very lucky to have the independence I have, but because I don't yet have a husband and a house of my own in a nice, suburban area, I feel like everybody looks down on me. I know even some of my own friends would mock me or feel pity if they knew about my current living situation. I'm wondering if any other single women can relate.