Has anyone ever taken gabapentin (‘self prescribed’) ?

I have debilitating anxiety and I can’t get much help from doctors as in the UK it’s incredibly Difficult to get mental health help or prescriptions such as benzos. I’m desperate for help as I have no quality of life. I had a traumatic event happen last month that has resulted in daily panic attacks and an inability to work. I hate it, I was always fine until then.

Has anyone ever gotten gabapentin outside of doctors/pharmacists for self medication? I don’t want to meddle with benzos or anything like that. Any anecdotes? Or shall I not bother doing this? I can get gabapentin and research suggests it could be quite beneficial. Thank you