How to move past hurt feelings without holding resentment

Using a throwaway because my SIL is very active on Reddit.

Married for 10 ish years with 3 kids (8.5, 6 twins).

Without getting into too many details, I’ll preface this by saying we have a strong relationship with good communication, partnership, intimacy, and still make time for fun together.

He is a great provider and father and spends all of his free time with me and with the kids. Truly an equal parent and partner on a daily basis.

He will make my coffee every morning, cook dinner if he sees I’ve had a hard day, and take all the kids out to play in the pool so I can have some alone time to decompress.

His blind spot is making me feel special for big events.

Cue to Mother’s Day and here we are again. He seemed genuinely surprised that I wasn’t thrilled with a card and no plans of any kind but some last minute “what do you want to do?”

We have had this conversation a thousand times at this point and he keeps saying he will do better but that he is focused on being a great partner on a daily basis as if that gives him a pass to do anything for special events like Mother’s Day, my birthday or Christmas.

I genuinely love this man and don’t want to break up our family but the resentments are building after almost 10 years of this.

We are currently semi not-talking because I just feel so hurt and put off.

I come from a toxic divorced family and while I have done a lot therapy and self work I realize I don’t know how to move on from this hurt without resentment and am looking for some advice.

Thanks for listening.