Husband called me names 48 hours after I gave birth and I can’t get over it.

I 32f gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 9 months ago. My husband, 41m kinda surprised me with how just…blah..he was during my pregnancy. He didn’t necessarily do anything bad but definitely didn’t treat me like a princess.

I gave birth and didn’t have any complications. We were discharged the next day. About 48 hours after our son was born my husband was changing his first diaper and was super stressed and freaking out which made me giggle a little bit. He took that as me laughing at him and started shouting at me calling me a “fat bitch” and a “c*nt.” I was stunned. I started crying and he apologized.

9 months later our marriage is really in shambles. We argue all the time which I think is pretty common in the first year. But in the back of my mind whenever we argue I just keep thinking back to him calling me those names and it gnaws at me. Was that a sign from the universe that this is not a good relationship? Is it a sign that he harbors a ton of resentment? I just can’t get over it.

I need advice because I cannot tell anyone in my life about this…because I know they’d tell me to leave him. I just feel lost and don’t know what to do.