Struggling with eating for one

Struggling with wanting to eat, I still do but barely get anything in. Just 3 days ago I thought I was feeding for two but it was just me. Just me for 3 weeks with no acknowledgement of it. Mmc is the worst..I picked up vaping as soon as I found out I had miss carried. I was 2 years sober. I don't know how to move on from this. I don't think I can. I found out I was pregnant same time I found out my gallbladder needed to emergency removed. These scars will forever remind me of what I had. How can I just move on from that? How am I able to overcome such a hurt. How will I ever have the strength to try again? I fear I may just be too traumatized and need to tie my tubes so I can't experience such a pain like this again which hurts more because I've always wanted to be a mother. Life is cruel. Lost my dog the same week baby stopped growing. I fear I stressed myself out, I had very bad panic attacks and lashed out due to how my dog had passed. I fear I did this. Even though they tell you it's a common occurrence you can't help but wonder..may this was my fault and I can't forgive it.