This isn't optional
rant ahead Women tend to be the primary caregivers in families because society has taught men that participation in running a household and child rearing is optional. It isn't really their job, but it's a bonus if they are present and contributing. Those that jump in without being prompted and are a full and equal partner are practically seen as a mythical unicorn!
When it comes to women however, we KNOW that this shit isn't optional! That there is a difference between babysitting and parenting our kids. That household goods don't magically appear in our homes and surfaces don't clean themselves. That parent- teacher meetings don't schedule themselves and meals don't cook themselves.
At this point, if effort by men is treated as optional, I have no problem treating men as expendable. Because they are, the vast majority of the time.