I received a marriage proposal from a Turkish family. I seek advice.

I received a marriage proposal from a Turkish family, but I’m conflicted due to language and cultural differences. Seeking advice.

Hi everyone,

I’m in a situation where I received a marriage proposal from a Turkish family, but I’m feeling confused and uncertain. Here’s the story:

In December 2024, I had the honor of performing Umrah with my mother and brother. While we were in Taif, we met a group of Turkish women, along with two male family members. My mother, who uses a wheelchair for long distances, was traveling with us, and one of the elderly ladies in their group became quite tired. My brother kindly offered our wheelchair to her, which brought her relief. This small act of kindness led to a warm connection between us.

The ladies were extremely kind and expressed their gratitude with hugs and kisses. One of them even asked for my contact information, which I shared. Although none of them spoke English, we communicated with some difficulty.

After returning to Pakistan, the lady reached out to me. To bridge the language barrier, I used ChatGPT to translate our conversations into Turkish. She expressed a strong interest in having me marry her only son, sharing details about her family. She mentioned that all her daughters are happily married, and the elderly lady we helped turned out to be her daughter’s mother-in-law.

The lady sends me daily messages, showing her kindness and interest. She even shared photos of her son, who works as a graphic designer and is very handsome. However, he doesn’t speak English either. When I asked about his thoughts, she reassured me that, while he shares the same concern about the language barrier, he has no objections.

We eventually had a video call, where, despite the challenges of communication, everything went well. The lady was very kind and loving, constantly praising me. She even asked to see my hair (I wear a hijab) and couldn’t stop praising me in a very affectionate manner.

The family is from Bursa, Turkey, while I’m based in Karachi, Pakistan. The lady works in a hospital and is about to retire. One of her daughters is a nurse, and her sons-in-law run their own business. I asked if her daughters also wear the hijab, and she mentioned that she’s the only one who practices it in the family.

I also told her that I’ve been working on improving my deen and started wearing the hijab in 2023, which made her very happy to hear. When I asked about her son’s interests, she assured me that he values modesty and prefers a woman who prays regularly.

My mother is deeply interested in this proposal, believing it’s a sign from Allah as she prayed for my marriage during our Umrah. At 28, my family and I feel that it’s the right time for me to get married, especially since finding a suitable match in Pakistan has been challenging.

I’ve always admired Turkish culture and people, especially after watching Turkish dramas, and I feel a connection to their traditions. However, I’m aware that there are challenges, particularly the language barrier and cultural differences.

Here’s where I’m conflicted: Should I directly talk to the man I’ve received the proposal from? I’ve been engaged before under family pressure, but I ended it because the man didn’t meet my expectations. My expectations aren’t high, but I want a man who is practicing his deen, a provider, and responsible. The man I was engaged to wasn’t working, wasn’t interested in studies, and worked for PPPP for free, defending corrupt individuals and hoping they would offer him a job. I was exhausted by his thoughts and had to end the engagement. Now, there’s increased pressure from my family to get married, and I’m not sure what to do.

I would really appreciate advice on how to handle this situation, considering the language, cultural differences, and my past engagement experience. Any guidance or insights would be much appreciated.

Part 2: After reading all the comments I posted on Reddit, I’ve realized the following:

I should talk to the guy directly. If our online conversations go well, the next step would be to visit Turkey. This will help us understand their lifestyle and gather more information. However, this could be financially challenging. Learning Turkish isn’t a problem for me, though becoming fluent will take time. If I’m making the effort to learn his language, he should also put in the effort to learn English at least. I’ll only know if he’s willing to do this once I have a direct conversation with him. Thank you so much everyone ❤️