My partner, a SAHM, barely does any housework
So me and my partner have a 5 yo son and a 2 month old daughter. She also has a 7 year old daughter. Our 5 year old son started school this year.
I make around 80k a year, give or take (commission plays a significant part in my income and fluctuates.). I pay her child support for her daughter so she can be a stay at home mom for our kids. I pay all of the bills, lately have been feeling quite stressed with getting everything paid honestly. Credit card debt had piled up, a significant sum of which was from paying for her lawyer due to her step daughter being withheld from her and spurring a big custody dispute.
I'm fine with paying the bills. Yeah I struggle and have some debt, but once my contract is up in 2026, I could get a much higher paying job. As of right now, im stuck in indentured servitude as I signed a employment contract for the down payment on our home.
When we moved in 2 years ago, she promised she'd do a fair share of the housework, things like keeping the kitchen clean. I never expected her to do everything, just something.
Yet our kitchen is a disgusting mess honestly. Our living room is a mess. Everything's a huge mess. Before our son started school, she claimed she was too busy with him (despite him being extremely independent for his age) , but I work from home 2 days a week and she'd spend considerable time napping and on her phone. Dishes go weeks without getting done. Garbage piles up.
Then he started school in August, our daughter wasn't born until November. So she couldn't use the excuse of taking care of the kids to excuse her lack of doing anything. Yet despite these months of free time, nothing seemed to get cleaned. There were only a couple times where the dishes were fully done or the stove cleaned.
I try to be patient, I try to get her to atleast clean our small kitchen and not worry about cleaning anything else. Fuck, I'd be plenty happy if I could just come home to a clean kitchen :/
I didn't expect her to do everything, but it's pretty damn demotivating when I work a job where I'm underpaid and disgruntled, then I come home to a mess of a home where nothing looks different than the day before.
I'm at a loss, because no matter what I say, nothing seems to change. When we moved in, she promised she'd help take care of the home. Yet, it seems that if I want a clean home, I have to do it myself. It's honestly felt like the biggest difference between her being here vs her not being here, is that id have to hire a babysitter. It has me stressed to my limits honestly.