Pre-Diagnosis, but having a hard time getting definite information

Update: We met with the surgeon today to discuss the upcoming surgery and his analysis of all the scans and things. After the surgeon met with the local tumor board who reviewed all the scans (MRI, CT, and PET) they don't have a definite cancer diagnosis. They determined the lung activity was nothing to be too concerned about, and the surgeon did not seem to think the 5.8 SUV value of the rectal polyp was a big deal either. They simply don't want to make any diagnosis until they get in there and take a much larger piece to biopsy. They will try taking this out in stages, the first stage for getting as large a piece as they can and then biopsy to see where we go next. It's very large, and in a spot that makes it hard to remove. They want to try going in the 'easy' way - if they cannot get it that way the only other option may be to do a full abdominal surgery and remove most everything below the colon and put him on a permanent bag. But it will all depend on what they find when they actually get in there.

Thanks for all the comforting words previously. I feel much better knowing an oncologist has seen the scans and is not worried about the lungs. I think that means at most we are looking at a stage 1/2 if it is cancerous.

Original Post:

My partner had a colonoscopy in February and a 5 cm polyp was discovered that they could not remove during the colonoscopy. Biopsy was inconclusive, it was simply too large and they were only able to take a small piece of it. We were referred to a surgeon, who ordered a CT, an MRI, and then immediately ordered a PET scan after seeing some lung and liver (thought to be benign cyst) nodules. We have not discussed the PET with the surgeon, and our primary has sent us over to Oncology (while telling us not to freak out at the word Oncology). We do not have an Oncology appt yet. The colon polyp and the lung nodules came back pretty lit up for FDG Avid values (5.8 for colon, 4.9 and 3.7 for mediastinal lymph nodes, which could be infection?).

I feel like some of this is pointing to a cancer diagnosis, but no one is saying anything about him having a cancer diagnosis or a staging, or anything definite. I know we will likely have more answers after they take out the colon polyp and biopsy it, and hopefully after the Oncology people look at the lungs, but OMG I wish for more definite information. My partner says it feels like they keep passing us off to other docs because no one wants to say the word cancer without a 100% certainty for fear of being sued. I just want some idea of what we are up against, and I am scared and frustrated.

So, not really looking for answers here, just wanted to vent this with some people who have been through this pre-diagnosis stage. We haven't told any family about what is happening, as we don't want to worry anyone unnecessarily at this point. Anyone else ever feel this runaround from docs in the early stages?