Should I send him this?

I think it’s the realization that you’ve masturbated to and possibly paid for more women to get themselves off than you’ve slept with me. Remembering all the times I cried over you. Remembering how many times I asked you if you thought I was pretty and happy with me when you rarely asked me similar questions. The fact that you gave another person (me) physical PTSD with mental and physical symptoms from your actions and never once until recently cared about my mental/ physical health as a person. I don’t think you would have stopped paying for camgirls and would eventually go back to dating/hook up apps despite my unwavering commitment and it would have fed your addiction because I wont leave you despite how bad your addiction got. I get afraid of telling you how I really feel but I have a right to be honest just as you have been honest despite me not wanting to hear the worst of the worst truth.

I think you’ll slowly stop doing your workbook because you’re doing “better” with therapy but it’ll take years to change your mindset. You’ll slowly test the waters to lie to me again about small things. I think porn fantasy has maybe(?) made you think those girls want you but the never will. They want your money. My money. And I don’t want to pay for stupid shit like that when I can work hard to buy things for myself and things that make me happy. You’re doing therapy, doing the work, telling me you love me and respecting my boundaries but what you’ve done won’t leave my head. I hate my body. I lost myself loving you. And when I’m out the door you want me. Everyone tells me I need to decide to stay or not. I did decide what to do with my life when I read my vows to you. You decided when you betrayed me. For years. And paid for other women to undress when I was free and loved you. If you decided to betray our marriage why don't you just finish the job and leave?