Unexpected Pregnancy and my fiancé doesn’t want the baby

Seeking Advice:

My fiancé and I have been together for 15 years, going on 16 (he is 36M, and I am 37F). We built a wonderful life together—traveling, playing sports, dining at restaurants—and we are both very successful in our careers. We got engaged last March (a complete surprise since he had always sworn he wasn’t interested in marriage, which I had accepted). Still, I was over the moon when he proposed.

Fast forward three months after the engagement, I unexpectedly became pregnant and realized there was no way I could go through with an abortion. Over the years, we had many discussions about children and always agreed we did not want them. I cannot explain it, but when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I couldn’t terminate the pregnancy.

When I told him, he was furious and adamant that I should not keep the baby. Despite his feelings and the repercussions, I decided to continue the pregnancy.

That was when our relationship took a turn for the worse. He has expressed a deep sense of betrayal and resentment towards my choice, which, truthfully, I understand—I changed the rules we had previously agreed upon. In the first few months of my pregnancy, he lost a significant amount of weight due to stress, and his mental health declined. That’s when he decided to seek professional help and began seeing a therapist, whom he continues to see.

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen many positive changes from his therapy, and I continue to feel a sense of doom. Since the moment he found out about the pregnancy, it’s as if he erased the 16 years we spent together and became emotionally distant—like a block of ice.

He has done absolutely nothing during this pregnancy: he hasn’t helped with the nursery, hasn’t attended doctor’s appointments, and has never asked how I’m feeling, never touched my stomach etc. He also lost all sexual interest in me (he has never found pregnancy attractive). Yet, despite all this, he is still here. Why?

I have been extremely patient, giving him space to focus on his hobbies, construction projects, etc., and I have asked absolutely nothing from him during the last 8 ½ months. I’ve handled everything on my own. I keep hoping he will realize that he cares about me and is ready to step up as a father and fiancé/husband. But am I making a mistake? When will it be time for me to throw in the towel and give up on us?

The baby is due in two weeks. He is coming to the birth, but I don’t expect him to be supportive afterward. At least this way, I have no expectations and won’t be disappointed. I’m I an idiot for waiting it out and hoping he will eventually come around?

Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice is appreciated.