Day 1… again

Was able to successfully quit last November from a bad 7oH and extract shot habit. Did a VERY fast 1 week taper, which was absolute hell. Then the day before Thanksgiving decided enough was enough, had a seltzer that morning around 10am and that last dose before going CT. I was really worried about Thanksgiving day having to be around family whole WD’ing, but it actually wasn’t too bad. I really think I went through the worst of it during the week I tapered, but the first 3 CT days still sucked pretty bad. Day 4 and onward seemed to get better each day, with the 12-14 day mark feeling pretty much back to normal. During this time I also booked a cruise to give me motivation to stay off for good.

Unfortunately, late December it got its hooks back in me. It started off with getting one shot on my way home from picking up sushi from my favorite sushi spot (the smoke shop is on the way home), and then it slowly progressed over the coming weeks, using more and more seltzers and shots each day (Mitra 9Brand), and then the last two weeks being hooked once again on the 7oH tablets, which started because my place was out of shots so I opted for the tablets. I realized what was happening, and with my cruise being only about 3 weeks away, knew it had to end otherwise I’d have a miserable time. Fortunately the first quit to look back on and know that I will feel mostly better by the 2 week mark.

I’m just so disappointed in myself that this happened again and I’m once again going thrown this. Looking back on texts between my friends who were also quitting at the same time with me, I was so adamant that I would never touch the stuff again. It’s just so crazy how quickly I forgot the pain I endured and allowed it to happen again.

I genuinely believe this will be the final time through and I will never touch the stuff again. Clearly I cannot handle it in moderation. I did a quick 2 day taper this time, with seltzers and shots, just to let the 7oH get out of my system, and today is Juno day. Had my last tea at midnight last night just to get back to sleep, but am hell bent on not touching it again from this point on and just suffering for the next several days. It really does become easier when you come to terms with the fact that you will suffer. But there is also a terrifying aspect to it as well.

Good luck to everyone else going through this as well.