I'm so tired of hearing it!

I never wanna hear, "it's temporary," ever again. Minimizing distress is so shitty and dishonest! Yes, change is the constant over time! No, that does not mean that it's worth surviving!

Slavery is temporary on a long enough time scale. That doesn't do shit for ppl who are enslaved for their whole lifetime, does it? Concentration camps close eventually, and that doesn't matter to the ppl dying in them. For the individual, that's not temporary. That's the total of their existence.

And even when things do change within a person's lifetime, that doesn't mean they're temporary in a meaningful way. The event/process of childhood trauma is temporary, but the fact that it literally changes the form and function of their developing brain isn't! Hunger may be temporary. Rickets isn't! Rape may be temporary. The damage it does to a person isn't!

It's completely disingenuous to act like the fact that a situation technically ends means that it's just a little bump and you'll be totally fine. That things will not only get better, but they'll get so much better that you can truly justify the suffering.

I get when a person is trying to be encouraging and says something dumb on accident.

But way too often, it's just about ending the convo so that someone else's suffering isn't harshing the vibe. Fuck that. When it comes from someone who claims to be supportive, fuck that twice.

And no, it's not "worth it" to everyone. You know how you know if something's worth it? If you'd volunteer to do it again, knowing how it'll be balanced.

It's completely subjective. Stand in line and get on a roller coaster. Was the wait worth it? Maybe. Maybe not. It's no less valid to say you wouldn't do it again. And it's so insulting to be told, "oh, yes you would! It's worth it!" when it's not.

Making the best of it does not make it worth it. They are not the same thing. It is not enough to survive a thing. It has to be balanced in such a way that the suffering is an acceptable sacrifice to the person going thru it.

There's no set threshold, no point at which it has to be worth it, or a person is weak/stupid/whatever. There doesn't have to be anyone else on the planet who shares that threshold. "I would be perfectly happy to be a quadriplegic, as long as I'm not dead." Good for you. Even if that would bear out in reality - no guarantee, bc it's easy af to speculate - that has nothing to do with anyone else. They aren't obligated to pretend that it's worth it to them, just bc it's worth it to you.

Treating a person/thinking of a person as less-than bc they have a breaking point is ridiculous. It's not "nihilistic" to not wanna be kept on life support. It's not "immature" to choose to die with dignity instead of going thru ultimately futile suffering. It's not "giving up" to have a limit to what you're willing to endure.

Foh with, "but the world is so beautiful!" Yes, it is. That doesn't mean everything is always worth it. You have a limit. Would you volunteer to have your legs broken in exchange for listening to music you enjoy? Is a sunset enough to truly balance decades of nightly PTSD nightmares? Cheesecake is awesome. Is that awesomeness so profound that you'd trade self-ownership for it? Be honest. Can you at least see the validity of someone who draws a line?

And foh with, "but what about other ppl?" Other ppl need to work on being empathetic and learning emotional regulation. It's not one individual's responsibility to suffer indefinitely, without limit, so that other ppl don't have to be sad. If you don't wanna go thru a round of chemo to have an extra week of life, you aren't abstaining from treatment at anyone. Loving someone means wanting what's best for them, even if it doesn't benefit everyone else. And they are the arbiter of what they're willing to endure.

There's nothing noble or poetic in suffering for the sake of suffering. Pain doesn't have a moral value. It doesn't make ppl stronger or better. It makes ppl different. There are no lessons that require unbalanced suffering to learn. It is not necessary. It is not inherent. Rationalizing your own suffering to make it easier to make the best of it is fine if that's what you choose. Demanding that someone else do the same for your comfort is selfish and callous.

"It's temporary!" Shut. Up.